The Aussie BBQ…or Russian Roulette for food

Reblog, link below

Anyone can cook meat, all you need is a frypan, temperature controlled stove and a dash of oil.

It takes a real man to cook on raging flames, with the temperature fluctuating between burn and incinerate, when even getting close enough to flip the meat might cost you an eyebrow..thats what makes it ‘Mans work’.
* Perfect, the meat should go on NOW

With a beer in one hand (to put yourself out when you catch fire) and tongs in the other you dash headlong into the flames, turning that which seems scorched enough and moving to the side that which is still on fire, then dash back checking for burning eyebrows and forearms as you do. A long slurp on the beer about now will cool your burning throat..

Now stand back for a few minutes as you recover from the incineration, slurp a few more times on the beer still in your hand and laugh with friends, telling jokes about women, cars, work or the weather. All to soon it’s time to tackle the flames again as you prepare by drinking more beer for the upcoming fight, thankful for the fireproof apron and burn cream already rubbed into the groin.

Before long though the cooking is over as most of the meat is set and shrunk like a rubber shoe sole, a sure sign that it’s cooked enough. Regardless of the amount of carbon on the surface the cook declares the meat ‘cooked’ and ‘perfect’.

 *Of course you’ve locked the dog away in the back room…

Want to read more? Do you dare read more? Then hop across to Set the Tempo if you want to see how this ends.

May 14, 2014 | Categories: Humor | Tags: Australia, backyard, BBQ, beer, dog, drinks, flames, guests, incineration, man's work, meat, Oz, real men, salads, scorched | Leave a comment